


step into the sunlight

by crashkeys



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, i'm half asleep and i wrote this on my phone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9726698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crashkeys/pseuds/crashkeys
Summary: izumi isn't any good at love, but still he loves (even when he'd rather not love at all)





	

**Author's Note:**

> pretentious second person pov garbage with a lot of metaphors and analogies involving giant floating space orbs of burning gas. its garbage but theres an izuleo deficit so i'm doing my civic duty and letting the world see my garbage

he's radiant in a way you cannot understand, beautiful in a way you cannot fathom. you have always thought of yourself as Above, as someone higher and more beautiful.  
you're arrogant, you know, but oh is it justified. a boy with a million dollar face, with a smile as rare and treasured as diamonds. you are flawless and beautiful  
and then you see the sun in the form of a boy with a small frame and dancing green eyes and you realize that you're a candle and he's a burning mass of luminance. if you look too closely at him for too long you feel your eyes may burn clean away - but you cant stop looking at him.  
he is the sun, and you understand then that your world has been dark and empty before he entered it.  
you wonder how you lived before and you wonder how you ever thought you were someone great.

 

the sun smiles and says "i love you" and it laughs and says "you're amazing" and you dont quite understand how the single source of radiance in your life can see you and your artificial shine and see something worthwhile in it.  
but that is his light, isnt it? leo sees wonder in everything, even in boys with an outside made of gold and a heart covered in dust.  
in comparison, you are pathetic. you're sad and fake and miserable and empty inside and in his light all of your flaws are laid bare.  
he sees those flaws, each and every dirty imperfection that you struggle daily to smoothe away.  
he sees them, and he thinks you're amazing.

every day of your life you have been told "you are beautiful"  
it is fact. the sky is blue. the snow is cold. izumi sena is beautiful.  
when leo tsukinaga says "you are beautiful" it's like hearing it for the first time.

you realize that you've always known that you are beautiful, but you've never before felt it.

 

he says "i love you" like its the easiest thing in the world. you almost hate him for it, even if its why you love him.

he's bad at kissing, fumbling and childlike and earnest, lips puckered together and fingertips scraping softly over your cheeks and entire lithe little body angling itself against you.  
it's the best kiss you've ever received.  
you want to say: i love you.  
but that's a word you've never learned, so words of love lose themselves on your lips and you kiss him instead.  
someday, maybe you'll learn how to say those words. maybe he can teach you. 

"i love you." he holds your hand as he lays sprawled out on the grass. "sena i love love love you."  
you look up at the sky, squinting into trees and sunlight that pricks blinding through the leaves.  
"you're loud," you say.  
leo's voice lowers into a grinning whisper. "i love you, sena"  
you can't say it back, but you very nearly do.  
instead, you tangle your fingers tighter with his and he knows you well enough to see the meaning in it.

 

you can't say i love yous, but i hate yous come easy when he walks away and doesn't look back.

"it doesn't matter." you spite the boy who isn't there to listen, the boy who hated to hear you say it doesnt matter.  
if it really mattered, you declare to yourself, he'd still be here.  
if i really mattered, he'd still be here.

you try to be pragmatic and you try to lock your heart back up, but you've lost the key. you gave it away, really, handed it willingly to someone who threw it over his shoulder and didn't think twice.  
you can't lock your heart, so you freeze it instead.  
you don't ask him to come back, and you don't call him.  
you tell yourself you don't want to see him anymore. it's a lie, but some lies are necessary ones.  
you're not going to break yourself over him.  
you don't need him.

the king is dead. everything is lost, and you were a damn fool for thinking that he still survived.  
he always had a way of doing that, of making you hope and making you happy and it was why you loved him but its why you hate him now, standing broken in the shadow of a filthy room. there are tremors in his shoulders and emptiness in his eyes and you realize that the sun of your life has set.  
leo burst into your life like a blinding supernova, a star in explosion that scattered life into the furthest reaches of your soul.  
and in the wake of the supernova cane the nothing that became everything; the star became a black hole and you love him but you won't follow him into that nothing.

you wish you could say that you don't love him, but you do you do you do.  
maybe it's past tense, because your king is a ghost and you're the last soldier standing to guard his castle.  
you defend it, and the memory of the only happiness youve known. even if it's a phantom, you hold onto it.  
you won't break yourself for love but love has a way of breaking you down piece by piece.  
i love you, you admit to yourself like you could never admit to him.  
in your greatest moments of weakness, you wonder if he'd still be there by your side if you had ever been able to say an honest "i love you"

 

the sun rises. leo tumbles back into your world without a lick of grace.  
it's not the same leo you knew. you're harsh and unforgiving and you don't know well how to love, so you refuse this new leo, the leo who's a bit shattered inside.  
he pretends he isnt broken, but the broken is all you're able to see.  
the sun rises, and you resent it for it.  
you're good at resentment and bad at loving.  
you've always been that way though, and you've fallen once before.

 

leo takes your hand in the dark backstage and you don't withdraw.  
you don't want to withdraw, and you hate that.  
"am i still your king?" he asks, soft, serious for once.  
you don't want to answer.  
you do anyway.  
"always"

**Author's Note:**

> happy valentines day


End file.
